All ‘Cause Of That Ol’ Master Clow!
by Dr Megalomania
Summary: It’s the Eurovision Song Contest... For Magical Creations and Beings! The Clow cards enter the contest and invite all the gang to come along and see thier performance!! a purely silly fic not meant to be taken very serious at all...thus warned, PLEASE R


Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!

I have no idea why I wrote this, I don't even know which category to stick it in, and I pray it makes sense even if you don't know how the song goes. I don't pretend that I own the characters; they are all CLAMP'S! Always have been, always will be. I also don't pretend to own the song, just the made up lyrics. All I own is The Eurovision Song Contest for Magical Creation And Beings . . . 

All 'Cause Of That Ol' Master Clow!

By Dr Megalomania.

[Also, I watched my favourite Simpsons' Halloween special while writing this. . . so uh, there's one joke from them in here. . . (giggles) snorky talk man!]

okay. . . Warnings: 1. This Fic contains a twiny weensy ickly bit of a suggestion to Touya/Yue, it's so insignificant that if I get a flame about it, I shall simply laugh about it and show it to everyone I know, because it wouldn't even be worth my time. Two: this fic makes no sense. . . even compared to Whoops, Didn't Mean to Do That. . . in fact, this fic is so pointless you might be left wondering why I wrote it. . . let me explain this, I have no idea why this fic is even in existence, it's probably the worse plot I have ever been even lazy enough to type, I don't mind if I don't get reviews [even though they are very nice and I would like to read your reaction please?] because this is just a lazy ass excuse to make up CCS lyrics to a real song. . . kay? Great, well . . . um, . . . enjoy!

Oh and here's a key, so hopefully you don't get too confused:

*stress/emphasis*

Card Name/CCS person – meaning that Card is that person's character on stage

'CCS Person' – am too lazy to type the one above so it means the fake Card version of that person.

_"singing"_

"talking"

Sakura blinked, "You what?"

"The Eurovision Song Contest for Magical Creation And Beings . . . We always enter . . ."

Sakura looked at Eriol who shrugged, "It's always the Guardians and the Cards alternatively . . . This year must be their turn . . ."

She sighed, "Um . . . sure?"

The Mirror jumped in the air and sang happily, "Yes! We're going to enter!!"

Sakura shuffled into place next to her friends, everyone was here, simply *everyone* who had ever been involved with the Clow Card saga was here . . . even people who were dead . . .

"Clow Reed?!"

"Nani?" Clow paused in his popcorn eating long enough to look at her, she stared back twitching slightly. He shrugged and pulled out a beer-can hat, arranged the straws, picked up a large foam hand and yelled, "GOOOO SAKURA CARDS!! WOOO!!" 

Syaoran sweat-dropped as Eriol did the exact same thing a few moments later, "You two are *insane* . . ."

"And your point?" Kero snorted, "Now shush! They're on in a minute!" Yue slapped Kero's paw away from his popcorn, Kero wheedled, "Awwww . . . but you *never* eat!"

"I'm making an exception!" hissed the moon guardian, Touya wrapped his arm around Yue, and whispered into the guardian's ear. The guardian went a slightly shade of pink and handed the box to his brother, and as the sun guardian scoffed down the box quickly, virtually crawled onto Touya's lap and the two started snogging. Ruby rolled her eyes and leant over her seat, "Sakura?"

"Hai?" 

"What are your Cards singing this time?" 

Sakura looked at Tomoyo who had the programme of events, the starry eyed girl paused long enough from her filming to read the programme, "Um . . . they're calling it . . . That Ol' Master Clow Reed . . . it's a take on Lady Marmalade . . . y'know, the version from Moulin Rouge?"

"Wai!" Spinel clapped, "I love that film!"

There was silence as all eyes fell on the midnight blue, Yue and Touya even stopped kissing to stare at him, Spinel shrugged, "What?! I *love* Nicole Kidman, okay?"

Yue shrugged and went back to Touya, Eriol and Clow shrugged and started to slurp loudly from their beer cans, and Tomoyo went back to taping Sakura. Ruby sweat dropped and waved at Kaho as she made her way over, the red head beamed and motioned to someone. 

"HOOOOOEEEE?!" Sakura screamed as Yukito slid into place besides her brother and Yue, who sat back in his own seat grinning happily. Touya patted her head gently, "It's only temporary, kaijuu . . . just for the Cards' sake . . . they really wanted everyone to be here!" he grinned as he taunted her, "Even you. . . Kaiiiiijuu!"

Syaoran pulled her back into her seat before she killed her older brother, he murmured calmingly into her ear, "Get him when he least suspects it . . ." Then louder he jerked his head towards Clow and Eriol, "Besides if they are here, it makes perfect sense that Yue and Yukito are here too . . ."

Sakura was about to reply when the stage suddenly lit up, the audience went wild as all fifty-two of the Clow Cards were revealed. Yue smiled, and said over the din, "Everyone loves it when the Cards go for it!"

The Shadow Card stepped forward and grabbed a microphone of the stand, Syaoran sat forward in his seat, "Surely the Shadow can't talk?!"

"Shadow . . . talk . . . man . . ." The Shadow Card squeaked quietly, before patting his chest and clearing his throat, "Sorry, let me try that again . . ." The Card spoke in a handsome deep voice, "Welcome to The Eurovision Song Contest for Magical Creation And Beings . . . we are the Sakura Cards, the Cards formally known as the Clow Cards . . . we are also the next act . . . and . . ." The lights fell on the other Cards behind him and their elaborate costumes and set pieces, "WE'RE GONNA BLOW YOU AWAY!!"

The applause was thunderous as the lights went out suddenly. Sakura and the gang grinned as they watched the stage eagerly; a bright spotlight fell on some elaborate red curtains, which swished back to reveal a girl. Tomoyo sighed as the Mirror Card raised her head; she was dressed in one of Sakura's uniforms, the red one, with the big red cape. She smiled, as she looked at the stage, quickly taking Sakura's appearance, "My name's Sakura!" She held up her cane, twirled it once, "In fact . . . I'm *Mistress* Sakura . . ." there was some quiet laughter, as she spread her arms wide, "I'm the mistress of the Clow Cards!" She tapped the floor hard with her staff, and the wings grew quickly, she hopped on and flew some feet in the air. 'Mistress Sakura' grinned at the audience, "Release!!"

The curtains swished back and the music started, 'Mistress Sakura' flew out of sight as the light shone on a large wire version of the Sakura magic circle lowered down from the roof, "Where's all mah Clow Cards?" The Firey clicked her fingers as she appeared, "Lemme hear ya'll flow Cards!"

The lights went up, revealing all the Cards, bobbing in time with the music, and those with fingers clicked their fingers as they sang quietly_, "Hey Cards, go Cards, Clow Cards, flow Cards,"_ they stepped apart as the Windy appeared in front of the magic circle wearing a low cut yellow sequined dress, "_Hey Cards, go Cards, Clow Cards, flow Cards . . ."_

The Windy smiled as she took centre stage, the lights died out behind her. She glanced over at the side of the stage as The Song strolled on dressed as Clow Reed. The Windy smiled as she sang the narration to the Song's act, "_He met good ol' Yue, lookin' at th' stars . . ."_ the Song Card looked up, as did the audience, to the thin crescent. The Light Card smiled, dressed like Yue, and waved down at the song, the Light Card swung upside down and winked at the Song Card, "_Strutting his stuff down Milk Way!"_ The Windy and the Light Card sang together and blew the Song Card a kiss, "_He said, hello hey Clow, you wanna give me a go?"_ The Song Card held out her arms and the Light Card quite happily jumped into them, kicked a leg into the air and winking at the audience, "OH!" 

The Windy Card kicked her leg up, "Uh huh!"

The Song and the Light quickly flanked the Windy as they sang the course, "_Judgey, judgey, ya-ya Yue!"_ The Light Card blew another kiss at the audience, the three spun and stepped to the right, "_Guardy, guardy, Ka-ka Kero!"_ The Mirror flew by again and landed with them as they stepped to the left, "_Mistress Sakura! Ra, Ra!"_ The Cards spun again and ran up the stairs, pausing as the Song Card turned quickly, _"That Ol' Master Clow Reed!" _ 

Eriol clapped as he laughed at the look on Yue's face, Sakura grinned, and the Cards started the next bit. The lights dimmed a little as some of the more shapeless Cards floated by, "_Return to your true form, Clow Card!"_ The Watery Card appeared, wearing a really short, blue dress, she stepped down and walked near a set that was made up like Sakura's bedroom, "_Return to your true form!"_

The Firey's voice was heard quietly as the Mirror and this time the Dash Card appeared, "Yea! Yea! Yea! Yea!"  
The Watery took the Windy's place, "_Kero sat in her boudoir while she rush about"_ the Mirror ran about getting into Sakura's uniform, the Dash, made up as Keroberos, lay on her bed, disinterestedly watching her while eating some pudding, "_Guard ate all that sweet pudding, yeah," _ 'Keroberos' pressed a paw against his muzzle as he dropped some pudding on her bed, "_In her favourite drawer, Caused her to freak, yeah!!"_

There was laughter as the Mirror/Sakura chased 'Keroberos' onto the stage, joining the Watery, the Windy, the Light Card, and the Song Card, "_Judgey, judgey, ya-ya Yue!"_ The Light Card blew the audience a kiss, "_Guardy, guardy, Ka-ka Kero_!" The Dash Card did the Egyptian dance quickly, "_Mistress Sakura! Ra, Ra!"_ The Mirror Card flipped suddenly, and once again the Cards ran back up the stairs pausing only long enough for the Song Card to sing, "_That Ol' Master Clow Reed!"_   
Clow and Touya joined in the dance, and Ruby and Spinel sang together, "_Return to your true form, Clow Card!"_ Sakura squealed as she pointed at the stage, the Sand and the Flower appeared on the stage as Tomoyo and Syaoran!

_"Return to your true form!"_ The shapeless Cards bowed and moved out the way for the Firey as she and the two Cards took centre stage. The Sand pulled out the Sword Card, and frowned Syaoran-edly at the audience as she pulled off some impressive stunts, on the other side the Flower Card sighed and pulled off her top hat; from it she pulled lots of different costumes.

The Firey picked up the microphone and, much to Touya's and the rest of the gang's amusement, began to break dance with 'Syaoran' and 'Tomoyo'! "Yeah, yeah, uh!" They got up, and marched to the left, "_We come thru wit' th' magic an' th' ways o' havoc!" _The Sand spun and drove the sword into the stage, "_I let ya know we bout to bust dis straight thru the seal, uh!"_ The Firey grinned, and tapped her chest proudly, "_We independent Cards, some mistake us for playaz_," She wagged her finger knowingly, "_I'm sayin', why bust mine, when I can bust yours?"_ She shrugged and the three held up their hands dismissively, "_Disagree? Well, that's you and I'm sorry!" _ The Sand whirled her sword over her head, and The Flower whipped out a video camera, "_We gonna keep playin' up dis town like a guitar_," The Firey waved, "_Do some funky trick; get sealed by dat girl, Four bad ass elements for the Cards o' Clow!"_

The lights came up and the entire cast of the Windy, the Watery, the Light Card as Yue, Song/Clow, Sand/Syaoran, Dash/Keroberos, Mirror/Sakura and Flower/Tomoyo (filming the blushing Mirror Card, of course) flanked the Firey as she continued, "_Hey Cards, Clow Cards, betta let's go Cards!"_ The Firey spun and threw back her head as if she was drinking, "_He drinks wine with magic in the glass, by the case, the meaning of Clow's taste!" _

Clow Reed laughed so hard that he started to cry, even Yue was jigging along to the strong beat, Tomoyo even stopped filming Sakura to turn her camera on the once in a lifetime performance, "_If you wanna guard us, guard us, yeah yeah, Beat mistress Sakura?" _

The Sand/Syaoran twirled her sword again, "NO WAY!"

_"All 'cause of that Master Clow_!" The Cards sang loudly. 

_"Bring it on, C'mon_!" The lights went out suddenly, as a strong spotlight fell on the Mirror Card, she closed her eyes and mouthed the release spell for the sealing cane, a magic circle appeared and there were some very impressive pyrotechnics, as the Cards all sang, "_Cards of Clow . . . Master Clow . . . Cards of Clow . . ."  
_the Mirror Card looked up, as some of the Clow Cards appeared in Card form and circled her with a bright glow. The Earthy's powerful voice sounded in the darkness, "_Hey . . . Hey . . . Hey!!"_ The lights went up to reveal all the Clow Cards' characters, 'Syaoran' and 'Tomoyo' flanked 'Sakura', while 'Clow' stood directly behind on the second level up, with 'Yue' and 'Kero' behind them. The Earthy sat on a large swing with the other three element Cards as she sang, "_Touch of her staff, feeling sucked in_." 'Sakura' touched a Card, and 'Tomoyo' filmed her elatedly_, "Magickin' all da way!"_ 'Syaoran' dropped to his knees in front of 'Sakura', and 'Sakura' beckoned enticingly, "_Made that little wolf inside roar until he cried . . . More!"_  Touya's forehead throbbed as he watched the Card's version of 'Sakura' wink encouragingly, "_More!"_ Eriol noogied his cute little descendant as the Sand roared, "*_More*!"_

The Watery laughed slightly as the entire ensemble waved at the audience, "_Now's he's waving 'bye to Meilin!"_

The Sand put the Sword away and wrapped her arms around the Mirror, "_Stayin' here in good ol' Japan!"_

The elements looked behind them as three shadowy figures appeared in front of the large full Cardboard moon behind them, "_But then he's gonna meet that reincarnated creep!!"_

The lights went up on the first shadowy figure as the Thunder, dressed as Spinel Sun, roared, "_Again!"_

Eriol grinned as the lights turned to the next figure, the Through geared up in Eriol's ceremonial robes, she grinned wickedly, "_AGAIN!"_

Touya slapped his forehead playfully as the lights went up on the last figure, the Dark Card enthusiastically just like Ruby sang the loudest, "_AGAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNN!"_

The three jumped down as the whole ensemble got ready for the last go, "_Judgey, judgey, ya-ya Yue!"_ The audience blew a kiss at the light Card, "_Guardy, guardy, Ka-ka Kero_!" Keroberos waved at the dash enthusiastically, "_Mistress Sakura! Ra, Ra!"_ The entire audience joined in as everyone pointed at the Song Card, "_That Ol' Master Clow Reed!!"_   
Perfectly co-ordinated, the ensemble stepped to the right, "_Return to your true form, Clow Card_!" Firey called out, "Clow Card!"

_"Return to your true form!"_ The Windy swung upside down, "All mah Cards, yeah!"

_"Return to your true form, Clow Card!"_ The Watery grinned, "Believe it!"

_"Return to your true form!"_ The ensemble beckoned challengingly as the Earthy sang, "Bring it on, hun!"

The Mirror Card ran forward quickly and twirled her staff, she pointed at each Card as she sang, "Earthy . . ." 

The Earthy threw her head back and crooned, "_WOOOOO!!"_

"Watery . . ."

The Watery shook her head, "_That ol' Master Clow_!"

"Firey . . ."

_"Hey! Hey!" _The Firey shook her head defiantly, "_Nuh uh uh uh!"_

"Windy . . ."

The Windy continued to swing happily, "_Oh oh ooooo"_

"Clow Cards baby!" Sakura grinned; she shook her hands, "Cards of Clow!" 

The Clow Card version of Eriol draped an arm around her and pointed to her, "Mistress Sakura here!"

The Cards all held hands as they sang loudly, "_ALL 'CAUSE OF THAT OL' MASTER CLOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!"_

The music stopped and there was thunderous applause as the Cards took their bows.

Sakura hugged her Cards as she and her friends walked home from The Eurovision Song Contest for Magical Creation And Beings, "Wai! They were great!"

"We were *conned*!" Clow Reed growled as he folded his arms, "We were robbed!"

Touya shook his head as he linked his arms with Yue and Yukito, "What's up with him?"

Eriol spun, "I'll tell you what's wrong!" He roared, "An injustice has been served!! We must demand a recount!"

Tomoyo shook her head, as she turned Eriol, linked her arm with his, and chuckled lightly, "Just because Fluffy won . . ."

"It was a stupid three-headed dog!" Clow yelled, "And it sang Jake three-legged peg! What the hell is that all about?!"

Syaoran sniggered, "I don't think that's what's it called . . ."

"It doesn't matter!" Eriol exploded again, "We were beaten by some lousy guardian from frigging Hogwarts!"

Kero looked at Yue, "I think we can understand by *that* that Clow did *not* resolved his argument with ol' Snape . . ."

Clow's head looked like it was on the verge of exploding; he threw his head back and bellowed, "I WAS RIGHT AND HE WAS WRONG!! I CAN'T HELP IT IF THAT UNCULTURED DIPSTICK CAN'T RECOGNISE THE NORTH STAR FROM THE BROAD EDGE OF A BARN!!"

Yue chuckled, "At least we beat Spike and Willow . . ." he scoffed, "You are my sunshine . . . indeed!"

This calmed Clow instantly, he shared an evil look with Eriol, ". . . And I won't let ol' Ripper forget it!! MWHAHAHAHA!!"

Sakura sighed as she looked up at the sky, the evening had gone well, and her Cards had come in at second, she paused. "Clow-sama?"

Clow looked up from his most evil plotting with Eriol, "Hai?"

"Did you say that the Cards do this every other year?"

"Hai, why?"

She looked at her guardians, "Sooooo . . . you will be doing it next year?"

"Hai . . ." Kero and Yue nodded slowly, "If that's okay with you?"

Sakura grabbed Tomoyo's hand, and grinned, "I think you might have to start designing a costume . . ." she looked at her guardians, "'Cause next year . . . I want in!"

-----

And Now It's Time For LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!

DrM: [rubbing temples] Ahhh. . . that's better. . .

Firey: That was a lame fic for us . . . we demand a better one!

DrM: I'll work on it, don't worry . . . I just needed to get that one off my brain . . .

Windy: Excuse me . . . but uh, aren't we all . . . oh, I dunno . . . out of character?!

DrM: Yeah, I know . . . brill ain't it?!

Watery: I say we drown her . . . she made us lose to Fluffy!

Snape: [not too subtle victory dance]

DrM: [to Snape] I'd make a run for it . . . Clow reads all of these before they go out . . .

[Snape nods and runs away, Clow barges in and rants about being beaten by Fluffy, DrM tries to sooth him with promises of Yue yaoi fics. . .]

Earthy: [sighing] I guess it's left to me once again . . . please R&R!! 

All: Hon NA NA!!


End file.
